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Stopping at a restaurant advertising a ''Unique Breakfast,'' a man asked the waitress what this was, and was told, ''Baked chicken tongue.''
''That's disgusting!'' the man said. ''I'd never eat something that came out of a chicken's mouth.''
''What would you like then?'' the waitress asked.
''Just bring me scrambled eggs,'' the man replied.
Three men are sitting in the waiting room of a hospital. A nurse walks over to the first one and says, "Congratulations. You're the father of twins."
"What a coincidence," he says. "I work for Twin Towers Bank."
A while later, the nurse comes out to congratulate the second man. "You are the proud father of triplets," she tells him.
"That's funny," says the new dad. "I work for AAA."
The third expectant father jumps up, a look of terror on his face, and runs for the door.
"Sir, where are you going?" the nurse calls out.
He yells over his shoulder, "I work for 10,000 Auto Parts!"
When the farmer next door sold his livestock, my parents bought a side of beef. Our first sampling was a steak dinner. My sister looked up at our mother and asked, ''Was this the brown cow that we used to feed grass through the fence?''
Worried about my sister's reaction but wanting to be honest, she replied, ''Yes, Kristi, it was.''
''Oh, good!'' Kristi smiled, digging in. ''She was my favourite!''
"Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" the teacher asked her Year Seven students. Everyone but John raised a hand to answer.
"Do you know, John?" she asked.
"Dammit, I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking me stupid questions."
Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference.
"What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?"
"I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions," she said.
Furious with his son, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Readers Digest JokesStopping at a restaurant advertising a ''Unique Breakfast,'' a man asked the waitress what this was, and was told, ''Baked chicken tongue.''
''That's disgusting!'' the man said. ''I'd never eat something that came out of a chicken's mouth.''
''What would you like then?'' the waitress asked.
''Just bring me scrambled eggs,'' the man replied.
Three men are sitting in the waiting room of a hospital. A nurse walks over to the first one and says, "Congratulations. You're the father of twins."
"What a coincidence," he says. "I work for Twin Towers Bank."
A while later, the nurse comes out to congratulate the second man. "You are the proud father of triplets," she tells him.
"That's funny," says the new dad. "I work for AAA."
The third expectant father jumps up, a look of terror on his face, and runs for the door.
"Sir, where are you going?" the nurse calls out.
He yells over his shoulder, "I work for 10,000 Auto Parts!"
When the farmer next door sold his livestock, my parents bought a side of beef. Our first sampling was a steak dinner. My sister looked up at our mother and asked, ''Was this the brown cow that we used to feed grass through the fence?''
Worried about my sister's reaction but wanting to be honest, she replied, ''Yes, Kristi, it was.''
''Oh, good!'' Kristi smiled, digging in. ''She was my favourite!''
"Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" the teacher asked her Year Seven students. Everyone but John raised a hand to answer.
"Do you know, John?" she asked.
"Dammit, I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking me stupid questions."
Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference.
"What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?"
"I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions," she said.
Furious with his son, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so."